#163

*HideousMonologue*

Your eyes reflect the stars

In such a way that I

Can almost see the future

And it is so beautiful

#162

*HideousMonologue*


Before I sleep, I glimpse at the star.

It twinkles under where my lashes are

Only to whisper about who you are.

"He's just a friend my dear" said the star.

I guessed I used the wrong words when I talked to the stars.

I wished to never lose you and it sort of worked.

I should've been more specific,

Cause I wanted us to be bonded by love.

You are not away, 

But you are not here yet.

#160

*HideousMonologue*

I miss how we used to be,

So vibrant, so honest, so wild and free.

I miss the way you would understand,

Listen carefully, and be there when I needed a hand.

I miss our long, random talks at night,

Our private conversations,

Our silly little fights.

I miss the way you could read my mind,

Know what to say,

When words were hard to find.

I miss the way you could brighten my day,

Make me forget the mistakes,

Make the pain go away.

I miss how you made me laugh,

Hate how you made me cry,

Loved how you said you would always be there

#159

*HideousMonologue*


3 Men in my life.

1 of them is my daddy.

1 of them is my Ex.

And another 1 is 

I don't know how to describe you.

My muse? maybe not

My Bf? Quite sure it doesn't went that well yet.

My intended? hmmm.. Lets hoping for the best.



putrisy? these indicates that EX

yaya_t? Obviously for you my dear.


Seeing you is making me happy.
Being with you really made my day.
talking to you is something that I always treasure the most

Thanks for being a very superb "friend" at all.
No need for me to emphasize it anymore, Aishiteru~

#152

*HideousMonologue

"The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness"


Thank you mak. I am so sorry. Truly deeply sorry.

Time will rectify all those things. Ya Allah. Please make ease. I am just your mere servants that seeking for your help. Amin ya rabbalalamin.

#151

*HideousMonologue*


First thing first. I miss mak. Yes I miss her so much. But I know how much she was frustrated and mad at me right now.. I kept blaming myself for what was happened. Deepest sorry from me to all of you.

It has been finalized. And I dont know how to explain to ayah n ibu. What should I do next? It is very disturbing me. Can I just disappear just like that? Or even going to someplace where nobody knows me and I can just live alone by myself. Or even worst, I want to completely vanish from this life. Lately, I have figure that I tend to run from my own problems. I hate to think what is the solutions for all of that. I hate to think what is the consequences that will occur. Yes, I am so coward to deal with it. I dont know how to handle them. I can try to solve others. But for mine? Sigh.. What is wrong with me? Even I dont have the right answer. I have nobody to share my probs anymore. Is it because of I dont have real friends? Or is it me who just dont wanna hear something that doesnt fit to my hearing. 

I am so sorry if the expectation is sucks. And as what I said, it kept playing in my mind. Hell yeah it is not what we're think of.

All in all, I do miss u and u kept appeared in my dreams. It made me so miserable when it ends up with some tears after woke up.

°Mistakes are made and my heart is sore. Our distance are grew and grew some more°

#148

*HideousMonologue*


Do not cry.

Don't cry young girl,

you can make it through this world

forget what everyone thinks

so shy, so unheard.

I've been there,

Not a good feeling.

No time at all,

silently healing.

I'm not good with words,

nor with actions.

But if you went for it,

imagine their reactions.

p/s: Missing someone

#146

*HideousMonologue*

After several wishes, alhmdulillah.

This baby is turning 26!!! huhuh. 26?? huhuh can't even accept it at the first time. Well, there is someone said to me that "Age is just a number" Okay! I will keep that saying. :p


I don't need with the celebrations or even the presents. It is just a simple but meaningful wish from someone that I care and love beside my family. Thank you. You know who you are.

Well, chin up lil baby. Face all those circumstances with open heart. You can do it baby!


p/s: It is January dude! T_T

#144

*HideousMonologue*

These two just perfectly fit together

It is just perfect

Perfect with the current circumstances

"Let the bough break, let it come down crashing.

Let the sun fade, out to a dark sky" ~SB; the blessed unrest

P/s: for u? 

#94

*HideousMonologue*

Happy? Yes I am..
Satisfy? Yes I am..

#80

*HideousMonologue*

Sad and happy..

boleh combine ke?

Sad

Sebab u found the right angel for u..

Happy

Sebab it happened like what i pray before..

truly, 

Lagi Sad daripada Happy..

Tapi..

Kan itu yg awk nak??

Deal with it!

#50

*HideousMonologue*

Disappearing?

Should I care?

Even if I want to care,

I have no right to do so.

Even deep inside,

I miss u damn much!

#43

*HideousMonologue*

H.E & S.H.E

I have a friend,

His name was Him,

He held his head high,

Wearing a grin,

Then there was She,

A friend of Him,

She never cared much,

But she did sing,

They fooled around,

And played games,

They helped each other,

Giving names,

Then one day,

Him loved She,

And She loved Him,

Both players,

Of the same game,

Now they wait and see,

Last heart to break,

Wins.