#126

*HideousMonologue*

**9 years back..

"Mcm mane lau family awk da tentukan someone untk awk. And someone tu yg awk knal?"

"Of course i'll say no. Kn sy syg awk sorg je"

"Tp dy ni anak kawan ayah awk. Mesti dy nk awk dgn anak kawan dy kn."

"Trust me. I will still choose you.."

**nowadays

"Mcm mane lau family awk da tentukan someone untk awk. And someone tu yg awk knal?"

"Sy ikut mane yg terbaik je."

Morale of the arguments, do not trust to those reverse psycho and provocation for certain peeps that such pain in the a**.

#125

*HideousMonologue*


SELAMAT HARI RAYA MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN DPD ATTEYA DAN FAMILY. :)

today is the final day that we need to prepare for the eidul fitri preparation. Those rice cakes, peanut gravy, beef rendang, ketupat palas, smbal sotong, lodeh, and last but not least, ayam masala. Perghh.. malaysian i ls malaysian when it comes to festival and foods. Well those food is kinda must have food on hari raya day for our family. Ayah requested to us all of that as he wants to eat them.

I was so damn tired today. My waist seems like to break into 2. This year i cooked all of them yes. Im the one cooked them. Hopefully its going to be edible.

All settle. And tonight we will iron all the clothes for tomorrow. And really, i feel like dying. Help me!

#124

*HideousMonologue*


Heard "My heart" by acha and irwanshah yesterday when i was in giant. So sudden, those memories came. Damn! Why must i? *sigh*

Well i forgot it all already. But still this song?? Really keep tonnes of memory inside it.

"If you love somebody could we be this strong. I will fight to win our love will conquer all"

S**t! 

Enough is enough!

No back out!

#123

*HideousMonologue*

Came across my mind. We have had our breaking fast together with arwah cukoi. He is one of the best mate ever. But, allah loves him more than us. He took cukoi from us. But i will remember each and everything that you have adviced me about being a relationship. Eventho he is your bestest friend, but you never mention bout him in front of me. U gave me some motivational words to keep moving on after highschool graduation. I remembered one day while we're in matriculation. U called me and warned me bout do not answer any phone calls from him. But i let you down by answering them and once again im so bloody stupid. You was mad at me, but at the end you just warn me and adviced me for do not letting my guard down. I hate to say that you are right koi. I did that again. Going into that suffer phase once again is damn so suffocate me. But still you are there for me. Without any fail everyday you are checking me out. You're the best buddy. Thanks a lot koi. May you rest with allah koi. We love u so much. Here koi, anum n me missing u so badly. We ate for you those pizza and BR that you like so much. Alfatihah..

#122

*HideousMonologue*

Xtaw nk refer kat sape. Insan ni je la yg ade dlm fikiran buat masa sekarang.

Ke nk mati ek??

#121

*HideousMonologue*


Settle all by today. Huhu may allah ease my next plan.

Iftar at dr rohaya's place today, and somehow or rather, i was pleased. She cooked many dishes and she tries to suits our tastebud. Thanks a lot dr. 

And lastly, today revealed everything. All those things that happened behind my back.
Thanks a lot. Know it all makes me know my place.

#120

*HideousMonologue*


First phase is passed already.
Will wait for another phase.
Hoping for being a better person.
Crave smile, and everything will be alright.
Chin up buttercup!

#119

*HideousMonologue*

Kau bagi aku jatuh, kau bagi aku rapuh. Dan secara tiba2 kau bagi aku rezeki di kala perancangan yang telah aku aturkan. Aku hanyalah perancang tulang belakang, dikau jua yg menentukan segalanya. Terima kasih x terhingga atas limpah kurnia yg telah kau lambakkan. Tapi in shaa allah, I will stick to the plan. Terima kasih Ya Rabb

#118

*HideousMonologue*

Hhhhhgggggggggggggggytyhghgyuhgygvvhhhhghghhhhhfbbljnbhjokhgihbbhhhhhhhhhhgfdfggtygjhģgyuhggyggghhğhgggggghkbvfddrrgvvhbvvvfffffcvvvgbbh. Cxgjfhvzaglhcfbvfhlhfffjgfhfhhghgufjguifudrugdsyudgjkffeuivtbybcgj. Hnggdtkurhfhkdhpfjdhsyshxkgkticf.jxje7dncltidjdyejfkghdfj.fjrirjcjdufi0ckfifkcfhdhdhjgfjfjfueudjfititjfjfur..

T_T

#117

*HideousMonologue*

I like being independent

Not so much of an investment

No one to tell me what to do

I like being by myself

Don’t gotta entertain anybody else

No one to answer to

But sometimes, I just want somebody to hold

Someone to give me their jacket when its cold

Got that young love even when we’re old

Yeah sometimes, I want someone to grab my hand

Pick me up, pull me close, be my man

I will love you till the end

So if you’re out there I swear to be good to you

But I’m done lookin’, for my future someone

Cause when the time is right

You’ll be here, but for now

Dear no one, this is your love song

I don’t really like big crowds

I tend to shut people out

I like my space, yeah

But I’d love to have a soul mate

God will give him to me someday

& I know it’ll be worth the wait

So if you’re out there I swear to be good to you

But I’m done lookin’, for my future someone

Cause when the time is right

You’ll be here, but for now

Dear no one, this is your love song

So if you’re out there I swear to be good to you

But I’m done lookin’, for my future someone

Cause when the time is right

You’ll be here, but for now

Dear no one, this is your love song

#116

*HideousMonologue*

I Can Feel you girl. But we're different. I'd rather lost someone I crushed rather than some good friend. :)